I'm off!

Just a day and a half ago I finally arrived home in New Jersey; in just over two hours now I'll be leaving again. Sometimes life really does move at lightning speed. It's crazy how that happens.

I don't really have a lot to say, just that going to Nepal by myself is probably one of the craziest things I've done. I'm sure I'll be fine, but there will be a lot of things that I'll have to deal with myself there that I haven't ever had to before--changing money, communicating where most people don't speak English or great English, finding my way around, etc. I'll be in pretty touristy areas so I don't think it'll be a huge problem but it'll definitely be something I'll have to combat, on top of adjusting to time differences, eating foods I'm not used to, and so forth.

But really, I'm so excited! My plane ride is... you guessed it! Just about 18 hours long. And then add on top of that the connecting flights and it's about a full day of flight time just on the way there, and over a day of travelling, even without the time change. So I'll leave this afternoon and then I won't get there until Wednesday morning. Part of that is because of the almost 10 hour time difference but a lot of it is also just because getting there is going to take a long time. Crazy.

Look at my cool new backpack! This makes me even more
excited for trekking. Also makes me want to trek everywhere.

Well, I still have a little bit of packing left to do so... I'm going to do that. But if I don't get a chance to post while I'm in Nepal (which is more than likely) there will certainly be pictures and so forth up when I get back so be ready!

it is finished.

Finals are over! At last. Which is not to say that this semester is actually over yet; look at my desk for one:

I honestly don't know how I'm getting anything done here.
All I know is that I don't want to clean up that mess, let alone
start packing up all the rest of my stuff. Wah.

Despite the fact that I have really been longing for finals to to be over it's kind of sad now, because with finals over that means that I actually have to get to those things that are important to do, but not super pressing, like figuring out if I have everything I need for Nepal, making sure I have a ride to the airport, packing all of my stuff, etc. Darn. Also, my friends (all two or three of them, hah) are starting to leave! So it's a bit of a bummer deal, but part of me knows that it's time for a break. It's always good to be exposed to the real world or even environments that you haven't been exposed to in a while--in my case, home. It'll be strange being around little kids all the time and having to tell people where I'm doing and for what purpose beforehand.

Here's two semester's in retrospect:

• I went on a couple of dates. Yes, it surprised me too.
• I became a certified open water scuba diver!
• I lived in a blanket fort for a month with four other girls. (Yes, it was awesome.)
• I have gotten less sleep and done more work on a daily basis than ever before.
• I finally learned how to properly play the organ. And I played in master class. It was kind of a big deal for me.
• I gained some weight. In case you were interested in knowing.
• I learned about how stuff burns! Research jobs are awesome. 
• I am currently preparing to get one of the lowest grades of my entire academic career. Which is not to say that it's bad, but it's still quite momentous for me. 
• I went to general conference in the conference center. Awesome.
• I took a total of 38 credits of classes. Probably not one of the wisest decisions I have ever made. But I survived honorably I believe, thank goodness.
• I met so many amazing people who I am going to miss dearly this summer! *sobs*

fighting fear

I think as humans we often tend to fear, and particularly fear the unknown. The future, the difficult, the unexpected and the unpreventable are all victims of our worry--and our fear. Anxiety can be good--if it motivates us to be better; however, often fear and self-doubt can lead to inaction, passively fighting against change. When this passive fight against change prevents necessary life progress from being made this seems to become somewhat counter intuitive, although sometimes I find myself falling into these traps as well. Shouldn't we be fearing more the consequences of our inaction than the consequences of our actions? Isn't the prospect of never getting a job worse than the thought of being rejected from various positions? Isn't the thought of just having to live without knowing enough to act as motivation? "It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed" (Theodore Roosevelt).

To me it's really amazing how much college changes things--I continually am presented with opportunities which I never imagined I'd be confronted with, let alone able to embrace. Most recently was my decision to travel to Nepal this summer for two weeks. A five day trek through the Himalayas. Sight-seeing in a foreign country--without my family. Over three days of flight time. I never would have imagined this, even just a month ago. But yet it's going to happen.

This is the view from Pool Hill (which I will be climbing this
summer) of some Himalayan peaks.

Am I scared? Of course. I hardly feel like I'm prepared in the most basic aspects, such as having a good backpack for trekking or broken in shoes, or being able to cover difficult terrain over extended periods of time, let alone feeling prepared for some of the tougher aspects. Dealing with a completely foreign culture, their people, and their language, and figuring out issues such as money, cold showers, etc. Handling international travel on my own and adjusting to time differences as well as altitude differences. Being without much modern technology which allows me to get in contact regularly with those I care about. Does it scare me? Yes, yes it does, but I can't--and I won't--let my fear talk me out of this great opportunity.

I have never been a procrastinator, and I won't put off foreign travel right now just because maybe I'm young, or maybe I should earn a little bit more money. To me it all comes down to the fact that I have no idea if I will ever be able to go to Nepal again. I might never have a chance to come across the great majesty of the Himalayas again. So I will put aside my fear and embrace the moment.

Quite simply, I am going to go.