one of those days

Make sure you're seeing the whole picture --
with everything important in it

You know those days that seem to drag on forever and you desperately want them to be over -- even though that means that you'll have to face whatever dreadful thing the next day presents? One of those days where you have so much to do, and you don't know how you're going to get everything done? The kind of day where when someone smiles in passing at you you just can't muster the strength to reciprocate the smile? That's what I think what living in the moment is. Or, at least, one type of living in the moment. And, it happens to me much more than I would like. Today for example.

Today was one of those days. I left my apartment at 8:20 this morning and didn't get back until 8:30 tonight. Between classes, studying for my stats test, taking my stats test, doing homework, working on research stuff, this day has way too long. I still haven't done everything I should have, such as studying for my physics test, printing out my writing paper (and editing it...), buying my sister a birthday present (her birthday is tomorrow. whoops.), practicing organ, and probably other things too that I can't remember. Sometimes, the here and now feels overwhelming.

Unless I'm disciplined, I tend to focus on
what isn't as important in the long term

I consider myself a very future-oriented person. Most everything I do is because I'm expecting something good will come out of it... eventually. But yet, it seems like every day I have a list of things I need to do, and I have no sort of plan of how to do them. And generally, everything on that list focuses on what I need to do right then. Study for my test this week, pass off organ exercises that are due, finish physics homework and hand it in, make sure I reach five hours of work for my research job... Now that I'm in the midst of the semester, the farthest in the future I can seem to focus on (and act upon, not just think about) is a couple of days in the future. I might do my chemE homework a couple days early, or I might start studying for a big test the week before, but that's it.

Perhaps I need to refocus, and see how my goals and interests align with what I'm currently doing. Because really, focus makes the difference between the desired result, and something different all together.