waking up

I used to always wonder how people could sleep through multiple alarms; how people could sleep in until three in the afternoon without even realizing it; how people could fall asleep in the strangest, awkwardest ways, even standing up. Now, I understand. Often, waking up is the toughest part of my morning. My mind becomes a fine-tuned calculator, ready to figure out precisely how much extra time in bed I can spend before I absolutely must wake up. My hand becomes quicker than a frog's tongue going for a fly in hitting the snooze button after the alarm goes off--the first time, and the seventh. As if waking up once isn't bad enough, sometimes I'll convince myself that taking a nap is a suitable compromise, satiating my ever present desire to sleep.

I don't know how I came to be in this sleep crisis, but here I am. I really do sleep enough; I consistently sleep seven to eight hours a day, but yet my body always cries for more. I thought it was just a college thing; you know, finding the energy to get off of the top bunk in the morning can be pretty tough. But then I went home for break (sorry I haven't posted in so long... it's one of those things where I couldn't compel myself to write anything even though I was never doing anything important and I always find time to post even when I'm super busy during school), and it was the same thing, except worse. Since there was never any time that I had to be up by, I'd become conscious around nine, only to decide that another two hours of sleep was much preferable.

I get it, it's break. But still. Seriously Jenalyn, get things under control. Spending half the day sleeping is a little bit... insane.

I think it was something that I read over break, but I was thinking about how horrible I am at waking up, but how there's not really any reason for me to be. Okay, sure, waking up is tough. But my toes don't freeze off getting out of bed. There's food in the fridge/cabinet for breakfast. I have lots of reasons to be really ecstatic about waking up every morning. But I'm not.

I wish I could look that adorable when I sleep...

And that's because it's easy to forget. It's easy to get caught up in the warmth and safety of the covers every morning, in their protection from the cold, from the harsh realities of life.

But just as waking up in the morning is essential, confronting challenges, exploring new possibilities, and taking the initiative to do something--anything--are also important. Often I find myself being lulled into a sense of security as I try to convince myself that a dull, monotonous job is the one I seek after, that busy work is the best kind of homework, all so that I don't have to exert myself mentally or physically. But I know that in the long run, I don't want to come home after a couple of easy classes to sleep some more. I want to be challenged; I want to have long days of classes and come home exhausted, but invigorated and inspired to think differently and be a better person.

So wake up. Take that leap of faith that the rest of the day is going to be better than the glorious hours in bed.